Beware – Thought provoking information below:

Wikipedia explains forgiveness as: the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.

So let’s look at that in more detail.

Victim – there’s a tip.  I’m imagining if you are reading this you may have had a time were you felt like a victim!

What is it do you think that stops you from forgiving someone for bringing hurt/harm to you?

You may think that forgiveness encourages the wrongdoer to keep hurting/harming if not you but maybe others.

You may feel a little responsible yourself.

You may find it hard to forgive yourself at other times, let along during these times.

I wonder what is your reason for keeping the feeling of being wronged close to you.  What are those feelings protecting?  Strange way to think about it.  But what if there was another way you could feel – would you want to feel differently?

Who is really hurting you by holding onto the pain and memory of the hurt.  YOU – you are becoming not only the Victim but the Persecutor as well.  More on this to come, keep a look out on my website.

If you were to look at forgiveness differently and start by:

• forgiving yourself for feeling the hurt
• forgiving yourself for sadly not being able to help the other person to change
• forgiving yourself for not being able to teach them to be a better person
• forgiving yourself for only being the expert on your life and not having the power to change others
• forgiving yourself for wanting to NOT feel the hurt anymore
• forgiving yourself no matter what

I’m not talking forget or condone the person’s behaviour.

We often think of forgiveness as a kind and compassionate act towards someone who wronged us.  Although this can be true.  The best part about forgiveness is the health benefits physically and mentally for you.

Forgiveness plays a major part in your happiness and can aid in improving depression and anxiety.

Forgiveness can lower your stress by reducing your heart rate and generally supporting a healthier you.

When you hold onto the hurt feelings and remember the pain, your insides are festering and it will make you sick at some point.

So I’m talking about forgiveness from a different view.  I’m talking about forgiving yourself for not being in a position to do different, to be able to stop that person’s behaviour, to stop that person from hurting you, to stop that person for not being good to you.  Dealing with what has happened to you may require more support – support is out there, please ask.

What if a way to start healing the hurt was to work on forgiveness?

I’m talking about moving yourself through the pain, working with the power you have.  Only you can heal the pain.

How is it that even an apology from the person may feel insincere?  How is it that it really doesn’t matter what the person where to do – it is totally up to you as to what you do with their behaviour, words, whatever is is that they may offer up OR NOT.

View forgiveness as something for you, not a gift to someone else, but a gift to yourself.  When your fears to forgive come up, recognise these fears (further information can be found on Facebook: @lifefulfilmentcoachingandhypnotherapy).

You are worth it  ♥   You are worth this Gift  ♥ Give it to yourself  ♥

Feeling like the anger and bitterness towards someone who has done you wrong is eating away at you?

Feeling so undervalued, disrespected and unappreciated?

Anger is so time consuming and energy zapping.  Your body is in pain, your muscles spasm, your head hurts, you either over eat, or can’t eat, can’t sleep or even function like a rational human being.

Sometimes/often you may let that anger and hurt out and you sound and behave like a raging monster being unleashed from within.

You’ve got good reason to be feeling so terrible at times.  You are not who you want to be.  You are not being the person that makes you feel good inside.  Your power is being handed over to the other person.

Read on to master the keys to letting go of the hurt and being true to your happiness.  Letting go will alleviate the anxiety that builds inside, will relieve those feelings of hurt and frustration.

🗝 KEY 1
Your well aware of the importance of letting go and moving on.  And knowing the reason you are suffering is because of the attachment is the first key to your overall peace and success here.

You’ve heard the saying energy goes, where energy is put.  So focusing on stress, anger, negatives – that’s what you’ll get.  So you know what’s next – if you are focusing on being positive and love, everything that is good (because let’s face it there is always good) will bring you positive, happy & good feelings.

You cannot focus on a problem and find a solution – but focusing on the solution will find a solution, or many in fact.

🗝 KEY 2
Resentment is such a heavy weight to carry.  What would you prefer to carry?  Imagine yourself being like water, dissolving the resentment like crystals, or floating it away.  Manipulate that resentment, play with it like a balloon – allowing it to float away or pop it with a pin.

🗝 KEY 3
Embrace curiosity over shame.  Be curious about your behavior, feelings.  Be curious about how you want to feel, think, behave.

Often what we see in others is a reflection of ourselves.  That does not mean that we are like them or have the same behaviour as them – it just means if something irks
you about them there is something inside of you that needs attention (by you).  So stop blaming others and focus on understanding yourself.

You always do the best you can, with the skills you have at the time.  So then if your best is not good enough at that time, your skills need to change.  More on that later.

🗝 KEY 4
More importantly though – everyone only ever operates to the best of their ability, with the skills THEY have at the time.  When you think about that – this means those who have hurt or caused you pain, sadly really don’t know any different – WOW when you really give thought to that, THAT IS REALLY SAD FOR THEM, that they don’t know any different, they don’t know how to behave any different, they don’t know how to think any different.  Wow how unfortunate for them.  With empathy behind you – you know have more skill to be able to

Stop being like them with these limiting skills, limiting behaviours, limiting beliefs.  More importantly stop imposing your own values and beliefs onto others.  If you are feeling like you are not being heard, or being disrespected, maybe stop and and see if you are having the need to tell people what to do.

🗝 KEY 5
Lastly stop looking for reasons to be unhappy, hurt, disrespected, annoyed with how you are being treated.  Just stop looking.  What I mean by this is we can tend start to see things that maybe aren’t fully there, but we can start to see them and then wow there is that energy again.  Start seeing the love for you, the love for others, really open those eyes and start looking.  You will be amazed at what you find. ❤

This is the reason you are struggling emotionally and feeling undervalued…And the feelings of anxiety and stress are coming up, making you feel horrible.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful, if we lived our lives, full of passion and purpose? To wake each day, feeling happy and alive! Excited and motivated to live the day with the greatest capacity?

Wouldn’t it be completely fulfilling, to work and play in line with what you truly value?

Creating passion and purpose in our lives can be absolutely achievable, when we become really aware of our personal values.

What is it specifically, that you value? Is it Family? Career – change and variety, meaningful work, achievement? Creativity and Fun? Health and Fitness? Work/Life Balance? Something else? Becoming clear about what you really value is the first step toward achieving a fulfilling life and getting rid of the anxiety that builds up in side or worse hits you all of a sudden. When you start making daily choices around how you spend your time based on what you really value – your whole being is aligned and working at its optimum. Are you spending too much time doing things that you don’t value at all or worse still, make you feel undervalued? Are you spending enough time, if any, doing the things that you do value and that does make you feel valued? Shifting what you do – so you spend more time doing the things you value – creates fulfilling, happy days … creates passion and purpose around your daily lives and helps eliminate the anxiety that builds up inside subconsciously.

Where do you see yourself in time to come? Say at the end of the year, in 2 year’s time, in 5 year’s time? What do you want? Having a clear vision around what you want for yourself, in your life, creates an open door to begin walking through. Is your vision in line with your true values? Knowing where you want to go is the first step towards realizing it. When you know what you want, you can then start to align your daily actions toward achieving your vision. Are you spending your days doing activities that are not in line with your vision? Are you doing and being what and who you need, to live in line with what you want? Truly living in line with your values?

So, having a clear vision of what you want and knowing what you value in life are amazing skills to hold, so that on a daily basis, you can act in line with these. Understanding and knowing these will help you create passion and purpose in your life.

BUT most importantly it will help eliminate the anxiety and stress that is consuming your mind and body. That’s got to be worth it! More to the point YOU’VE got to be WORTH IT.

So, who do you need to be, to do what you need to do, to have passion and purpose in your life?

Life Fulfilment Coaching & Hypnotherapy have a 4 step program which eliminates Stress, Anxiety & Fear and supports you to recognize your values and live life true to your values.

We all lead very busy lives. We just have too much to do and not enough time in which to do it. The result is that we end up stressed. This month I want to share with you some of the things I do to manage my time.

BE REALISTIC
There really are only 24 hours in a day. You have to sleep, eat, exercise and relax as well as meeting all your commitments. So be realistic in what you can do and do not take on more tasks than is humanly possible.

LEARN TO SAY
“No – Unfortunately I’m not in a position to do that” or “No – sorry I do not have the time!”

DELEGATE
If you are in a business and you have staff under your control, make sure you delegate. In your household – delegate.
Sounds easy ….but is often hard because you think it is easier to do it yourself than take the time to train someone else.
Remember we all had to learn sometime. And what a great opportunity you are giving your staff and family members to learn, develop, grow and feel great about achieving new things. People like to feel needed and responsible.

PRIORITISE
Schedule time first thing in the morning or last thing the previous day to jot down those things you have to do and then prioritise it. This becomes your action worksheet. Commence working from the most important task down so that by the end of each day, you have made significant inroads into the most important items on your list.

DO NOT PROCRASTINATE
It is easy to jump over an item that you would rather not do – most of us are tempted to do this from time to time. The skill is to ignore the impulse to skip the task and just knuckle down and do it. You really will feel better for doing it. I have some great tools that can support you further with this.

So there it is – 5 simple steps to optimising your time.
Try it and let me know how you go!

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked “how heavy is this glass of water?”

He continued “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, you might have to get an ambulance.”

He Continued “and that’s the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, we have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.”

So we all need to find time to put our burdens down and relax

Here are some steps to help you relax

1. Make time to relax each day.

2. Get comfortable. Sit or lie down and close your eyes

3. Imagine a soothing restful scene e.g.: bush or beach

4. Start to relax all the muscles in your body by tensing and then relaxing them.

5. Begin with your toes and work through your body until every muscle is relaxed.

6. Next, concentrate on your breathing—slow and deep, slow and deep.

7. Clear your mind by only concentrating on your breathing

8. Spend at least 15 minutes on the above each day.

If you would like to discuss creating the time to relax and more relaxation techniques —please give me a call.

Mid January already…Where have the past three weeks gone !!!??? Have you noticed that the older we get the quicker the years seem to go? Possibly a result of our ever increasingly busy lives.

I hope you had a great Christmas and New Year – I certainly did. The New Year is always a time for reflection and planning. Planning our dreams and aspirations for the coming year…or more. I hope that whatever New Year’s resolutions you chose, you have achieved ….or you are still on track to achieve them.

Give me a call for tips on how to keep focused and motivated.

So what does 2018 hold for you?
Through these blogs, I want to share some of my thoughts with you on what we can do to make our lives awesome.

Healthy Mind = Healthy Body

I honestly believe that a healthy mind is the key to a healthy body. In fact, statistics show that the majority of medical dollars are spent treating disease, and most experts believe 90% of diseases are due to stress.
Reduce stress and your health improves because you significantly reduce your chances of disease.

So what is STRESS ?

Stress is not the challenges we face in our lives, it is the way we react physically and mentally to these challenges.

Give me a call if you would like to discuss this further

Dejavu – are you still where you were this time last year.

“LIFE REWARDS ACTION”

What’s holding you back? – Get a coach to move you!

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Having a coach gives you an edge over someone without a coach – in your career, in your business and in your personal life.

Having a coach means having an edge.  An edge that will have you steps ahead of others.

An edge that gives you strength, direction, confidence, and empowerment to handle anything in your business and personal life.  

An edge that will drive you forward into life, maximising your fulfilment and happiness.

The Benefits include:

• Emotional Intelligence and Empowerment to really be YOURSELF
• Increased Work Success and Direction
• Improved Financial abilities
• Better Relationships with all those around you
• Spiritual awareness
• Intellectual Empowerment
• Improved Intimacy and Connection
• Increased Physical Wellbeing

Book your coaching sessions now!