Beware – Thought provoking information below:
Wikipedia explains forgiveness as: the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.
So let’s look at that in more detail.
Victim – there’s a tip. I’m imagining if you are reading this you may have had a time were you felt like a victim!
What is it do you think that stops you from forgiving someone for bringing hurt/harm to you?
You may think that forgiveness encourages the wrongdoer to keep hurting/harming if not you but maybe others.
You may feel a little responsible yourself.
You may find it hard to forgive yourself at other times, let along during these times.
I wonder what is your reason for keeping the feeling of being wronged close to you. What are those feelings protecting? Strange way to think about it. But what if there was another way you could feel – would you want to feel differently?
Who is really hurting you by holding onto the pain and memory of the hurt. YOU – you are becoming not only the Victim but the Persecutor as well. More on this to come, keep a look out on my website.
If you were to look at forgiveness differently and start by:
- forgiving yourself for feeling the hurt
- forgiving yourself for sadly not being able to help the other person to change
- forgiving yourself for not being able to teach them to be a better person
- forgiving yourself for only being the expert on your life and not having the power to change others
- forgiving yourself for wanting to NOT feel the hurt anymore
- forgiving yourself no matter what