Beware – Thought provoking information below:

Wikipedia explains forgiveness as: the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.

So let’s look at that in more detail.

Victim – there’s a tip.  I’m imagining if you are reading this you may have had a time were you felt like a victim!

What is it do you think that stops you from forgiving someone for bringing hurt/harm to you?

You may think that forgiveness encourages the wrongdoer to keep hurting/harming if not you but maybe others.

You may feel a little responsible yourself.

You may find it hard to forgive yourself at other times, let along during these times.

I wonder what is your reason for keeping the feeling of being wronged close to you.  What are those feelings protecting?  Strange way to think about it.  But what if there was another way you could feel – would you want to feel differently?

Who is really hurting you by holding onto the pain and memory of the hurt.  YOU – you are becoming not only the Victim but the Persecutor as well.  More on this to come, keep a look out on my website.

If you were to look at forgiveness differently and start by:

• forgiving yourself for feeling the hurt
• forgiving yourself for sadly not being able to help the other person to change
• forgiving yourself for not being able to teach them to be a better person
• forgiving yourself for only being the expert on your life and not having the power to change others
• forgiving yourself for wanting to NOT feel the hurt anymore
• forgiving yourself no matter what

I’m not talking forget or condone the person’s behaviour.

We often think of forgiveness as a kind and compassionate act towards someone who wronged us.  Although this can be true.  The best part about forgiveness is the health benefits physically and mentally for you.

Forgiveness plays a major part in your happiness and can aid in improving depression and anxiety.

Forgiveness can lower your stress by reducing your heart rate and generally supporting a healthier you.

When you hold onto the hurt feelings and remember the pain, your insides are festering and it will make you sick at some point.

So I’m talking about forgiveness from a different view.  I’m talking about forgiving yourself for not being in a position to do different, to be able to stop that person’s behaviour, to stop that person from hurting you, to stop that person for not being good to you.  Dealing with what has happened to you may require more support – support is out there, please ask.

What if a way to start healing the hurt was to work on forgiveness?

I’m talking about moving yourself through the pain, working with the power you have.  Only you can heal the pain.

How is it that even an apology from the person may feel insincere?  How is it that it really doesn’t matter what the person where to do – it is totally up to you as to what you do with their behaviour, words, whatever is is that they may offer up OR NOT.

View forgiveness as something for you, not a gift to someone else, but a gift to yourself.  When your fears to forgive come up, recognise these fears (further information can be found on Facebook: @lifefulfilmentcoachingandhypnotherapy).

You are worth it  ♥   You are worth this Gift  ♥ Give it to yourself  ♥